Well, it was a long weekend, y'all. I accomplished a lot, but I still couldn't do everything that needed doing. Darn you, LA traffic, for impeding my progress!
I saw Cynthia Nixon at the mall on Saturday, which was cool. I totally wasn't going to believe it was her, either, but then I got all up in her face and I was convinced. I was at the mall because I had to buy my Mom some napkin rings from Crate & Barrel to go with the fancy-schmancy napkins I purchased for her. I know, I'm giving my mother napkins for Christmas. I'm out of the will, people. Anyway, I couldn't think of anything else, and she didn't make a list, and she said she didn't care because that wasn't what was important, so she's just lucky I didn't get her cornholders and ring-dings! Stop looking at me like that!
Anyway, I go looking for these specific napkin rings I saw on line that had this teensy, tasteful-looking bunch of green grapes on it, because the dining room is green, you know, but I couldn't find them anywhere! So I start to freak, like, what if I can't find them and I have to buy her these other napkin rings that don't work with the silverware, and why don't they sell regular napkin rings that aren't in freaky art deco shapes that would make even Andy Warhol wince to see them on the dinner table with the fancy napkins? Well, I asked for help, and this girl takes me to this basket, and there are the napkin rings!
Only they were fugly. Fugly. They looked nothing like they did online, people. The coil was this huge piece of wire made to look like hay, or some shit like that, and the grapes were neither teensy nor remotely tasteful -- they were ginormous and covered with beads and glitter! Beads and glitter, people! They looked like a first grade art project. Needless to say, I did not purchase them. Instead, I got her some apple-cranberry butter. I hope she likes apple-cranberry butter. If I show her the alternative, she'll probably weep for joy.
On Saturday, I also had a TWoPcon in Hollywood, which was tons of fun, and I tried to go to this stupid-ass bookstore that was stupid-ass closed. Bastards. It took me forever to get there, too! So I went back Sunday and it was closed again! Bastards! So yesterday, after working all the ding-dong day, I drive out there again, only to find out it's closed! Still! BASTARDS! So fuck the bookstore. I'm shopping online now. Oh, and I had to pee really, really bad too, and the trip took me an hour and a half. From now on, I'm keeping an empty jar in the car with me, just for emergencies. Don't open the glove compartment, mom. Just saying.
Well, on Friday, May Day and I went to see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and aside from the fact that we shared the theater with the Top Five Most Annoying Teenagers Ever (all five of them! In one place! Tonight only -- don't miss your chance to tell them all to shut the hell up!), the movie was good. And now, my review:
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
It was good, y'all! I'm not one of these freaky people that run around all, "Ooh! A stupid kid's movie! I hope it's about a young person who triumphs over adversity!" Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just not one of those people. Anyway, in an effort to warm my icy, raisin-sized heart, Pussy Galore forced me to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with her and her daughter. I hate to admit it, but my heart grew ten sizes that day. It was a damn good movie, yo.
Anyway, Chamber picks up pretty much where Stone left off, with Harry returning to Hogwart's following his summer break. This film sees the return of everyone's favorite characters from the first -- Dumbeldore, Hagrid, Professors Magonagle and Snape, Oliver Wood (well, okay, so he was my favorite, anyway. Mmmm...Sean Biggerstaff! Love the name, not to mention the accent. And don't look at me like that, he's nineteen!) -- and introduces new characters in the form of Gilderoy Lockhart (Kenneth Branagh) and Lucius Malfoy, the father of Harry's arch-nemesis.
In truth, the film is much darker than the first, and if you have a phobia of spiders (as do I), be sure you bring something resilient to squeeze the shit out of, but it's a very effective movie. Fun for the whole fam, I would say, and given that I still haven't read the books yet (oops), I'd say it's a testament to the film that I was able to follow along without much trouble. The first film maybe held together better overall, but one must remember that this is a trilogy and the story is not over yet. A-