Wow. Just...wow. Seriously.
Okay, so not fifteen minutes ago, I had my first completely surreal experience here at Titanic Cruises. Let me just tell you:
So I'm up here, minding my own, messing around on the computer and doing squat in general, when this guy lumbers into the office. He was sixty-five if he was a day, and he was stone. Ass. Crazy. Short-shorts (with vericose veins, yet), tight T-shirt pulled across a swollen beer gut, crossed eyes, shaggy white beard, and a dirty visor holding back a rat's nest of unwashed gray hair topped off the ensemble. Plus, he smelled bad, so that wasn't doing him any favors either.
In any case, he informs me he's looking to a cruise this Sunday, and could I help him? Well, just then the phone rang, so I told him to have a seat and I'd send someone out as soon as I got off the line. So he pulls the chair all the way across the room and sits two feet away, leering at me as take some lady's information over the phone.
So I finally get away and send Dolly out to talk to him, and he gets all chatty with her and starts going on and on, all the while picking at his nasty, sixty-five year-old crotch (I'm not kidding, folks) and smelling funky. Then Dolly goes off to shoot herself and tells me to take down his info. What follows is a transcript--
Me: What's your name?
Short Shorts: [mumbles something unintelligible]
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you say 'Sean' or 'John'?
SS: Either one.
Me: [pause] What?
SS: Well, I was named after my grandparents! One of 'em was named Sean and the other was Juan, and they both mean 'the shining grace of God'! They have one in almost every language, like Johan, Jean, Giovanni, and so on.
Me: [pause] Okay. How do you spell it?
SS: [gives me suspicious once-over. Spells out last name]
Me: Right, then.
So, just as I was beginning to wonder if this guy was pulling an Anne Heche on me, Dolly came back out and told him everything was all set and that she was ready for him to pay. That's when he gave her the suspicious once-over and told her in a cagey voice that he'd left the money in his "ve-hickle". Then they looked blankly at each other for a moment before Dolly informed him that she needed the money up front, and that as soon as he got his money and came back, he'd get his ticket and his invoice.
Finally, he said okay and thanked her, and Dolly retreated to the office. Then, Short Shorts proceeded to sit in the chair and stare at me for the next ten minutes. No, seriously! Like, what the hell? He just sat there! Without moving! For ten minutes! I'd've thought he was dead, but I could hear his nose whistle. I have no idea what that was all about, but he eventually got up and left, and I ran to the back so we could indulge in a little team moral support.
Sometimes this job is fun.