� Memoirs of an Evil Genius �
Conquering the World, One Martini at a Time

� Lists Take Less Time �
1:54 p.m., 2006-06-07

Some actual stuff has (kind of) happened recently, and I should be writing about THAT (like the crazy racist chick who thought I was rilly, rilly cute -- like, what an endorsement -- or the crazy, scary Manson Family reject dude who stormed a shoot we were doing over the weekend for the show, and freaked every last molecule in my body out with his cold, dead eyes and his determination to be "different"), but I'm eyeballs-deep in work right now. Ergo, the list

I have done 99 of these 158 things

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[2] I have run more than two miles without stopping.
[3] I have been to Canada.
[4] I have been to Europe.
[5] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[6] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[7] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[8] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[9] I have played ping pong.
[10] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[11] I have seen fireworks.
[12] I have seen a shooting star.
[13] I have seen a meteor shower.
[14] I have almost drowned. (nearly � I mean, I didn�t need CPR or anything)
[15] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[16] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[17] I have had stitches. (�more than once)
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[18] I have stayed up til 2 (and beyond) doing homework/projects.
[19] I have been ice skating.
[ ] I have been rollerblading.
[20] I have fallen flat on my face.
[21] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[ ] I have been in a fist fight.
[22] I have played videogames for more than three hours straight.
[ ] I have watched the Power Rangers.
[ ] I attend church regularly.
[23] I have played Truth or Dare.
[24] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[25] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[26] I've called someone stupid.
[27] I've been in a verbal argument.
[28] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team. (this list just isn�t friendly to the uncoordinated)
[29] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[30] I've climbed a rock wall.
[31] I've lost more than $20 (in possession at one time)
[32] I've called myself an idiot.
[33] I've called someone else an idiot.
[34] I've cried myself to sleep.
[35] I've had (or have) pets.
[36] I've owned a Spice Girls CD/cassette. (It�s a single � does that count?)
[ ] I've owned a Britney Spears CD.
[ ] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[ ] I've owned a Backstreet Boys CD.
[ ] I've mooned someone.
[37] I have sworn/yelled at someone of authority before.
[38] I've been in the newspaper.
[39] I've been on TV.
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[40] I've eaten sushi.
[41] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[42] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[43] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[44] I've watched the Three Stooges.
[45] I've watched "Newlyweds."
[46] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.
[47] I've been called a geek.
[48] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[49] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[ ] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hours.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[50] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[51] I've written poetry.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[52] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[53] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[54] I've had/have siblings.
[55] I've been to a rock concert.
[56] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[57] I've been in a play.
[58] I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[59] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[60] I've cried in front of my friends.
[ ] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[ ] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been to Alaska.
[ ] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've had a fight with someone on AIM/MSN.
[61] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[62] I've had serious conversations on any IM.
[63] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[64] I've been forgiven.
[65] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[66] I've cried at a chick flick.
[67] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[68] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[69] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[70] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway. (�I�ve BEEN on the highway�? There are people who haven�t?)
[71] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[72] I've been in a car accident.
[73] I've done drugs. (nothing harder than a little mary jane, but�)
[74] I've been homesick.
[75] I've thrown up.
[ ] I've thrown up on someone.
[76] I've been horseback riding.
[ ] I've filled out more than 10 MySpace/LJ surveys.
[77] I've spoken my mind in public.
[78] I've proven someone wrong.
[79] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.
[ ] I've broken an arm.
[80] I've fallen off a swing.
[81] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight.
[82] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[83] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.
[84] I've lost my backpack.
[ ] I've come close to dying.
[ ] I've seen someone die.
[85] I've known someone who has died.
[86] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.
[ ] I've done modeling.
[87] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[88] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[89] I've realized how good my life is.
[90] I've counted my blessings.
[91] I've made fun of a classmate.
[92] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.
[ ] I've slapped someone in the face.
[ ] I've been skateboarding.
[93] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[94] I've lied to someone to their face.
[95] I've told a little white lie.
[96] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[ ] I've fainted.
[ ] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[ ] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[98] I've been pushed into a pool.
[99] I've been/am in love.

And there you have it.

Today's Trivia Factoid: There are four State capitols that start with the letter 'B' I'm Watching: Passions and Passions alone, on account of how all the rest of my shows are on summer hiatus. I'm Reading: Still working on that same damn book. Soon, though! I'm less than thirty pages out from the end!

A Year Ago, I Said:

I mean, I practically bored myself into this altered state where I was communicating with the dead and seeing, like, St. Elmo�s Fire or some shit like that. Which, I guess, actually was kind of exciting, come to think of it.

The F Word
6-5-2005

� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.



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