Today is kind of getting off to a bad start. Through no fault of my own (well, maybe a little fault), I accidentally sorta kinda faxed one organization�s report to another. Although, in my defense, the Data Entry people put the wrong cover sheet on the report, and the organization whose data was actually contained in the report (not, unfortunately, the same organization to which I sent it) isn�t even supposed to get a daily report. So THEY printed out a report that THEY shouldn�t have, and THEY put the wrong cover sheet on, which confused me and made it all not my fault. Except for how I guess I could�ve paid more attention when I was, you know, reviewing the report, and caught the problem before it was a problem. But let�s not talk about that.
Let�s talk about this thing I saw on Bravo last night. It was just an advertisement for that hateful, preening exercise in verbal masturbation known as Inside the Actors� Studio (with James Lipton!), but it kind of threw me into hysterical fits of laughter for a good twenty minutes. Granted I was extremely fatigued at the time, and it might not be quite as funny when you aren�t sleep deprived, but�I was terribly amused.
See, they were flashing little images of all the FABULOUS celebrities that James Lipton has had the FABULOUS opportunity to interview (in an extremely FABULOUS way, natch), and they showed Tom Cruise and Jude Law and Charlize Theron and�Jay Leno. And I�m like, "Jay Leno? Jay the fuck Leno? Huh? Wha?" I mean, I�m sorry, but one of these things is not like the others.
Not that I�m belittling Jay Leno�s contributions to the perpetuation of celebrity in all its various forms -- as a talk-show host, that�s pretty much his raison d�etre (see how I�m using my French already?) -- but seriously, y�all. If the Hollywood firmament were actually a landscape, Jude Law and Charlize Theron would be really pretty flowers; mostly decorative, but pivotal and a main focal point (Cruise would be that old gazebo your neighbor built that, at first, you thought lent an air of class to everything, but now that the paint�s peeling and the rose trellis (ie, Nicole) is gone, it�s just kind of a glaring mistake). Leno, on the other hand, would be�dirt.
Not that I�m selling dirt short, mind you. I mean, dirt is important to the pretty flowers! And so is Leno, to the real stars like Law and Theron (and, you know, Gazebo Boy), but he�s still just dirt. Functional and vital to the Hollywood ecosystem to be certain, but�nobody has a dirt garden, y�all, and that�s for a reason. The man�s job is to be funny and pimp out celebrities and celebrity products (of varying quality -- and how much can we really trust a man who lavishes the same advance praise on Oscar� bait and Rob Schneider vehicles alike?), but that doesn�t make the man interesting. He doesn�t even have a whole bunch of cottage industries going like certain other talk-show hosts I could mention (but, out of deference to Heather, won�t).
So, basically, that would be an interview by a man famous only for giving boring interviews of actual famous people, of a man famous (lately, anyway) for giving somewhat humorous interviews of actual famous people. It�s a circle in a circle! It�s a square within a square! It�s a tedious riddle inside a repetitive mystery, wrapped in a boring enigma! And not to flog a dead horse, but�does Leno even qualify for this program? Why would the Actors� Studio even care? He�s not really an actor (well, he�s not), nor is he a big-shot Hollywood director/producer/writer type who could provide any of those people with a career or career guidance. He�s just�dirt.
So anyway, I laughed for nearly twenty minutes thinking about James Lipton interviewing Leno. I guess even dirt must have its day.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: you say insane like it�s a bad thing And: foster farms chickens commercial I�m Watching: American Idol. I�m so glad they finally have the top twelve so they can STOP SHOWING THE AUDITION CRAP. I�m Getting More Calls From: Sharon at the dealership. She�s called me twice this morning. I swear I�m going to have Sam answer the phone if it rings again and tell her I�m dead.