What do you do if you can�t wake up one of your parents? Like, I used to have this problem all the time with my mom, because the woman frigging insisted on falling asleep in front of the TV, and it was like pulling teeth bare-handed to get her to go to her own stupid bed so I could watch late-night movies in peace. Trust me when I say that few things are more irritating than having your mother wake up every fifteen minutes and change the channel every single time Prom Night starts getting good, because she �can�t stand this shit�. Like, nobody asked you, mom, go to bed.
Anyway, what do you do when, for the first time, it�s your dad who won�t go to bed? Like, I�m sitting here, typing about as loudly as humanly possible, hoping the overbearing sound of my fingers slamming against the keys (or the blaring of the television, currently playing Soylent Green at an inhuman level) will send him off to bed so I can watch S�ance on a Wet Afternoon in creepy solitude until two in the morning or so, but to no avail.
Maybe I need to work harder on being zen so that this shit doesn�t piss me off as much as it is right now. Why am I taking this personally? It isn�t exactly as if I have so very many things to do around here after about 10:00pm, when my parents have (usually) gone to bed. Like I really need to have my choices constricted even further by the fact that I can�t get my father to get his ass off the couch. If this keeps up, I�m going to have to unhook the VCR and the DVD player (I also rented the first eight episodes of Twin Peaks on DVD), take them downstairs, and then fumble about in vain for twenty minutes trying to hook them up properly.
I�m not very technically inclined, I should point out. I guess it�s really not terribly important that I watch all alone, particularly if the whole point is that he won�t wake up long enough to leave the room in the first place. Why can�t I just sit and watch the movies in peace as he slumbers? you might ask. The answer is because he has stretched out across the entire sofa and I don�t have any place to sit down. Damn it.
Whatever. I should just lighten up and either find a comfortable section of carpet to plunk myself down on, or try and become more proficient with our electronica and move the damn appliances downstairs to the old, gnarly TV in our freezing cold unheated basement, which is currently taking refuge from the year 1986 (the TV, I mean, not the basement. The basement is actually in hiding from the year 1993).
Dude. Some guy is this movie just shot a priest. I don�t know much about the echelon of sins, but I have a feeling that�s a pretty big no-no, as far as these things go.
Anyway, I guess I should just lighten up a bit. After all, my dad did contribute about 50% of my genetic make-up. I mean, without him, odds are I wouldn�t be here. I don�t know a whole lot about genetics either, though, so there may be a scientific loophole wherein I would still actually exist in some way, and just be totally deformed or crazy or whatever.
Well, fuck it. If you�ll excuse me, I�m sick of waiting, and I�m totally not caring about Soylent Green, or whether or not Charlton Heston is going to solve its mystery only to shake his fist at the sky in impotent fury, realizing he can neither fight nor change the inevitable (my prediction: yes), so I�m going to go move the appliances. With a smile on my face.
Or at least a baring of my teeth.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: hoarfing I�m Watching: Oh forget it. Aren�t You Forgetting Something? Oh yeah�happy New Year, everybody!