I was minding my own business, as I so often do, except when there�s really juicy gossip involved (as you�ll soon see), when I heard a familiar voice. Now, I didn�t place the voice right at first -- because I was so immersed in my organizing and filing, like the extremely dedicated employee that I am -- but I knew that voice, and I knew I�d heard it more than a few times before.
That�s when it hit me. It was Agent Orange, my own account representative from Somewhat Shady Temp Agency! Now, I don�t call her that because she uses a really bad fake tanning lotion, but rather because�well, she uses a really bad fake tanning lotion. What can I say? But what on earth was she doing meeting with Sophie (for that is what she was doing) at 10:00 in the morning on a Tuesday? Why weren�t they simply chatting over the phone, as my rep did with Joanie, back when I was employed at the loathsome Stupid Titanic Cruises? What could all this mean?
Needless to say, my thoughts flitted back to all the (as I see it) mounting evidence that my engagement at Arts-Friendly Non-Profit is soon to go the way of the dodo. Immediately, I was petrified. I mean, it�s not like I thought Sophie was going to come charging out of the conference room with a hatchet, determined to make an example of me for all purportedly subpar temps everywhere, while Agent Orange stood laughing in the background, like a poorly-dubbed extra from one of those abysmal kung fu movies imported from Hong Kong in the �70s, but no one likes to have their employment terminated for any reason at all, even it�s fake employment through a somewhat shady temp agency.
Anyway, I had to know what was being said behind closed doors! Fortunately for me, they were yapping so damn loud they were actually causing the floorboards to vibrate. Well, okay, not actually. But you catch the drift. Anyway, they were being loud, and I decided to sneak back toward the area in which the conference room was located, so I might get a better sense of what was being discussed. Say, for example, my impending firing.
Unfortunately for me, Arts-Friendly Non-Profit is rife with ambient noise. Noise from the vending machines in the kitchen, noise from the air conditioning system that Sophie likes to keep running at full tilt, as if our offices were located in the heart of a Bermudan volcano, and the incessant chatter of Patrice, who is really starting to get on my nerves. Picture, if you will, yours truly standing in the doorway of Conference Room #1, trying desperately to discern the conversation going on in Conference Room #2 over the aggressive moaning of the overworked A/C, while Patrice inquires for the sixth time, �So, how�s it goin�?� I don�t know yet, Patrice, but if you�d shut the hell up for a moment, I might be able to find out!
I could only make out every other word, but I caught horrifying snippets here and there about �office politics� and �sometimes things just don�t work out�, and as I was trying to make a mental list of all the items I wanted to take home with me when I got dismissed later that afternoon, I caught the pronoun �she�. Yes, as it turned out, they were not discussing my impending termination, but rather the impending hiring on New Girl on a full-time basis. Which, of course, doesn�t mean I won�t be getting canned, it just means�well, not today.
Although, as May Day pointed out, I�d be in good company. And, hey, we could do lunch whenever the fuck we wanted!
Someone Got Here By Searching For: stupid members only jacket [Perhaps my favorite search to date.] And: gael garcia bernal gay I�m Watching: The Sting for the first time, believe it or not. I�m Craving: A hot fudge brownie sundae.