Of late, I have had a little bit of free time on my hands during my workday. This is because, in keeping with the basic tenet of 'bad things happen to good people', a very bad thing happened to the very good show that I've been working on for lo these past few weeks: we got canceled. Not even canceled, though -- pre-canceled. Like, they filmed three episodes worth of footage, and then the fucking network backed out of it. It's really sad, and not just because it's the most money I've ever made ever, but�well, it's mainly that, but also it's because the show itself is actually really, really good. Like, funny on purpose, good. Like, cameraman knows what he's doing, good. Like, cast members know my name and don't act like they're The Shit (even though they totally, totally are) and I'm getting paid more money than I've ever made before, good.
And now it's good and cancelled. Bitches.
In any event, given that we only have a limited amount of footage left to cull through before we're all out of a job, we've been dragging our heels a trifle. If by 'dragging our heels' you mean 'fucking around online instead of actually progressing through our workload with any deliberate effort' and by 'a trifle' you mean 'all day long'. Part of my own personal time-wasting exercise has involved surfing around on friendster, which is like a voyeuristic haven for amateur spies and expert people watchers. I fall much closer to that first category, you should know. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm the guy at the coffee shop who shushes his friend because she's drowning out the bickering of the couple sitting behind him.
Basically, I started to look up some old �friends� (read: enemies) of mine, and, curious to know what they were up to (but unwilling to contact them under my own guise), I�I sort of�made someone up. I know what that sounds like, but I'm not crazy, I swear! I mean, I don't BELIEVE I'm someone else, I just kind of�pretend to be so I can stalk and befriend people I don't really like. Is that so wrong? DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! I'm bored! And anyway, it's not like I actually DO anything. But this way I can find out how miserable they all are, and how much they're suffering for all the times that they made me feel bad. Sometimes they lie and say they're happy, hiding their pain, but that's fine. I can wait.
What's difficult about this (I'm done justifying my actions, FYI) is that when you create a new person, they don't come with an already established network of friends. I figured out that this was a problem when I realized I had no access to anyone's profiles or anything, and furthermore, people are awfully leery of being contacted by total strangers going, �Let's be friends!� Particularly if they have no friends to begin with. Like when that weird kid who smelled like pee would always come and sit next to you during lunch or story time, talking about how they almost choked on a bottle cap once and spilling food on me and I was like, �Go AWAY, weird kid, you don't have any friends for a REASON!� Kinda like that.
Anyway, I quickly realized I had to create a network of friends, too, so I've busied myself over the last few days with contacting total strangers and basically begging them to validate me and accept me as an online friend, thusly building a network and looking less lame when I finally put my nefarious plot into effect. Not that my plot is all that nefarious. Or plotty, for that matter. But you would be surprised by the number of people who respond positively to this tactic. I'm on my way to getting more friends as Not Me than I am as Me.
Which is sort of insulting, now that I think about it. Not Me is also getting approached by more random strangers wanting to be friends than Me is. Me am. I am. Whatever, the point is, what's wrong with ME, damn it? The new problem I've stumbled across was one I hadn't anticipated, though: guilt. Some of these people seem so genuine and friendly, and they're all, �I read in your profile that you like [whatever]�me too! Tell me about yourself!� And then I'm making up bullshit and asking them about them, and they're like, �You're cool! Let's be friends!� And then they keep messaging me, and I start to feel bad because they're being lied to.
And then I stop feeling bad because I remember that I'm doing this to visit vengeance upon (or, more accurately, to sort of sneak in and patiently await vengeance to make its own entrance into) my ex-friends' lives. I know you're amazed, but I am an evil genius, after all.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: romantic chemistry develop I'm Watching: 24. I fell asleep in the middle of the episode, and was going to give up on it altogether, but then I decided to just forge ahead anyway. I'm glad I did, too, because watching Chloe ventilate that terrorist goon was worth every second I had to stay up. I'm Reading: Well, I'm finally reading recaps on TWoP again!