When you list "Jack Daniels" as a reference on a phony job application.
When your phone rings, it�s a guy you don�t want to talk to, and he begins the conversation with "Someone just called me from this number!"
When no one just called him from that number.
When maybe your phone is possessed.
When you promise to hire the bartender for $100/hour when you become "fucking rich".
When you know, from experience, that you can drink a margarita in under five minutes.
When you get bombed on a Wednesday, ostensibly because it�s Cinco de Mayo�but really just because it�s Wednesday.
When you lock eyes with Famke Janssen and she edges away, slowly.
When you think maybe the bartender�s lazy eye is your problem.
When the bartender gives you free drinks and you think of it as a personal victory.
When you regale the bartender, as well a complete and total stranger, with some long-winded story about Elaine, for no good reason.
When you casually identify Elaine as a "Satanist".
When Elaine wasn�t really a Satanist. Well, as far as you know, anyway.
When your story ends with the bartender giving you a great big glass of water.
When the bartender gives you a second round of water, just because.
When your companion quite literally drowns her cell phone in Aquafina.
When you are awoken before 8:00am by a call from your companion, and your first thought isn�t, "Who the hell is calling me?" but rather, "What took her so damn long?"
When you remember that her phone doesn�t work, but not until you�ve already been talking for five minutes.
When you discover that she�s calling from your phone, which you left in her car the night before.
When you�re less worried about being without your cell phone than you are that your companion will use up all your daytime minutes, as her cell phone is now dead.
When you explode a bowl of oatmeal in the microwave.
When your Thursday morning hangover�s starting to feel pretty fucking groovy.
�You know you had a good Cinco de Mayo.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: "my boyfriend" "my nipple ring" I�m Watching: Famke Janssen, edging away slowly. I�m Reading: The martini menu.