Among other things, I have made a command decision that this weekend shall bring me new glasses. This is not just because I have a serious problem with instant gratification (in that it�s not fast enough), and I can�t wait to get spiffy, new eyewear, but because I realize that I may want to preserve my one remaining month�s worth of contact lenses for special occasions. Glasses can be a real pain in the ass, y�all, and I won�t always want to drag them around with me everywhere I go. I�m just warning you up front, so when I come back on Monday with glasses, you don�t get confused and think it�s my cousin, Clark.
That was a Superman reference, just FYI.
Also this weekend? The beginning of Christmas shopping season, officially. Early, you say? Perhaps. But I have so many people to buy for that if I try to wait until actual Christmastime, I will be doing all my shopping at an illustrious boutique in Hollywood known as the 99� Store. Or, possibly, everyone will be receiving cornholders and Ring Dings again. But I�m trying to be a better gift buyer, and live down the ignominy of my pre-teen years in which I presented my mother with the following:
o One cheap, pewter chain, with an amethyst pendant the size of a golf ball -- Because, you know, the bigger the stone, the better the necklace. Or something. Bless my mother�s heart, she never complained. She never wore the goshawful thing, but she never complained, either.
o One bottle of nail polish, in Neon Melon -- I really don�t know what I was thinking. I�m not color blind, or anything, but this stuff was about two shades away from Hunter�s Orange, and I was convinced my mother was going to love it. I remember her smiling very brightly when she opened the package, and then, whenever I would ask her, �Mommy, is this the nail polish I bought you?� she�d smile awkwardly and say, �Er�of course!� My poor mom.
o One cheap-ass, costume jewelry ring -- The ring cost me $5.00, which was quite the fortune to someone my age (I was 14) (just kidding), and I think the stone�excuse me, �stone��remained in the ring for about five whole days.
o One cheap-ass, costume jewelry, �gold� bracelet -- Quite possibly the single ugliest thing I�ve ever given to my mother. I bought it at this trashy shop, and was once again convinced that, because it was big and gaudy (and �gold�) that it was quality craftsmanship.
I�m surprised the poor woman didn�t cry herself to sleep every night, thinking that her son hated her. For that reason alone, I owe it to my family to buy them real gifts this coming Holiday season. And because of the broke-itude, that starts now.
Also this weekend? Decompressing. I�ve somehow become this rampaging whore at the office. Now that I�ve realized Cute Receptionist and I are really just never meant to be (the fact that he�s already in a relationship notwithstanding, our sexual incompatibility has become compounded by some further philosophical incompatibilities), you�d think I could just let it be. Not so. Rather, I have gone completely the other way in the matter, and am now the most brazen and aggressive flirt in the history of flirtdom. Maybe it�s because I now know that nothing can or will happen between us, and I don�t want it to happen, and that feeling is quite liberating. I can flirt all I want, secure in the knowledge that I never have to make good on my alleged promises! Still, it�s bad form, and I should probably quit.
But now, I should go to bed. Everybody enjoy your weekend, and wish me good glasses-hunting vibes.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: creepy puppets And: �can you hear me now� and �Verizon� I�m Watching: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which makes me want to go kick some ass. I�m Eating: The last of my Ghirardelli chocolate. I�ve resolved to start eating healthier (well, I�ll try it out for a week or two), so this is my last hurrah.