These are strange times, my children. I�ve got so many different thoughts in my head right now, and I�m not sure where to start as far as getting them all out. In the past, I�ve tried my hardest (for the most part) to structure my entries around a single, cohesive thesis statement, but I�ve discovered that my brain may not actually work that way. In fact, my brain works a little more like some kind of synaptic whack-a-mole, with random ideas popping up and back at will, while I stand there with an unwieldy, overstuffed mallet, trying to smack them back into place. Well, this is fine with me -- it�ll have to be, I suppose -- but it means that you, my faithful readers, will have to be somewhat flexible with the old attention span. So, listen up: I�m about to get started here, and if anyone thinks they can�t roll with me (Henry), back out now or forever hold your piece. Or peace. Whatever.
Ahem. First of all, why is everything so extreme now? Have you guys noticed how everything is always operating at the very ends of the scale? In fact, everything is so absolute right now that nothing is absolute. Have you picked up on that? Maybe it�s because we�re apparently in the Age of Aquarius, but things are just operating at 10 and 1 all the time.
10.
I met someone, out of nowhere, and I can�t even tell you how excited I was about it. Everything seemed so right, and I was really pleased. I was all smiles all the time, and just felt so relieved that I�d met someone who wasn�t poisonous or deceptive.
1.
I got fucking rejected. Looking back, I realize that I got too invested too soon, which was just foolish, but that�s another side of my personality. I don�t know why, but I see everything in absolutes. Sometimes, I�d really like kick myself in the face. The point was, that whole bullshit non-relationship went the way of the dodo, and it made me doubt myself all over again.
10.
Then some really, really incredible shit happened to me, all in the course of the next week. I was overwhelmed to the point where I couldn�t even really process it, because it didn�t feel like it could be happening to little old me. I was full of ecstasy and wonder and confusion, because it all just seemed too surreal.
1.
And then things just kind of�cooled down. I mean, the potential is still out there, I think, but it�s just not blowing hot through my veins like it was last week, and it�s left me confused again. It�s just like what Gloria said when she read my palm: my life is always �six steps forward, and five steps back�.
10.
Big things seem in the offing for Jessica! I don�t want to jinx anything for her, so I�ll just say I�ve got every appendage crossed and am hoping for the best. She deserves it, you guys.
1.
On the other end of the scale, Heather�s got loved ones overseas, a bit too close to the war that threatens to break out any day now. My appendages are also crossed for her.
1.
Lastly, poor May Day seems to be having a hell of a time right now. Unemployment seems to have left her extremely depressed and discouraged, and I�m beginning to fear that it may be completely outside of my abilities to cheer her up. It breaks my heart to see her so down, and nothing I can say seems to make any difference. All I can do is assure her that she is every bit as smart, talented, and beautiful as I�ve seen her believe herself to be countless times before. Everyone pays their dues, I think, and maybe this is just her time for that. They say it�s always darkest before the dawn, and maybe that�s what this is. I�ve got my appendages crossed for her, too, but otherwise I just feel so impotent. I hate not being able to help, because it makes me feel utterly useless.
Anyway, it�s very hard to get one�s footing in this day and age, especially when the ground keeps shifting underneath you. Ultimately, I just worry that all the emotional gymnastics we�ve been going through can�t be healthy. I�m overidentifying with every song I hear, now. I cry every time I listen to Sarah McLachlan�s Mary Walks, for instance, and feel unstoppable when singing at the top of my lungs along with Rufus Wainwright on the refrain of April Fool, and I get righteous and bitter when Aimee Mann starts singing Way Back When.
These are strange times indeed.